Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Do you make time for the negative?

I have never been one to have a boat load of friends. I usually have 1 or 2 close friends. I don't trust easily and well....truth be known, I like to have friends that are similar to myself. It makes life easier to have the same interests and some things in common. Is this snobbery? Not saying I am not friendly to everyone (ok except one person I can think of).
Being in the military, especially living in military housing...you meet people from every single walk of life. Sometimes I think people who live in the civilian world have a jaded view of how people really are. You live in your little house and come and go to work. All seems right in the world. Come visit my world where you find out all sorts of information you wish you never knew about the people down the street. I would honestly rather not know. A little bit of obliviousness (is that a word?) never hurt anyone. Alot...yeah that could hurt someone.
I don't have friends who look for openings to discuss details about their sex life. I don't have friends who call my other friends horrible names (to my face), I don't want friends who do all of this and more in the house of the Lord. For heavens sake. Is it too much to ask for people to put a filter on and think...maybe this comment could hurt someone?
Look, I am alot of crazy myself. Lord knows I have more issues than Time magazine. And maybe I am a little afraid that those who love to gossip about the neighbors might find out about my craziness and spread the word. I don't have to be friends with everyone. I just keep saying that.
I don't want them to think I condone in any way their nasty verbal spewage. And to me, just hanging around them and nodding is condoning.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Its been a while...

One of my closest friends started her own fabulous blog yesterday. And it inspired me to update mine. Its been over a year (i know...bad bad Tina).
My weight loss journey has been a tough road. I won't lie, or sugar coat it. People ask me all the time if I had regrets or if I would have the surgery again. I did have regrets. Mostly when I want to devour a whole pizza and know that I just can't. Or eat left over steak..I love cold steak, but it does NOT love me. I have a new set of medical problems it seems, but they are nothing compared to diabetes and high blood pressure. Especially when I remember that those were the main causes of my dad and brothers death (heart disease too). I still weigh myself every stinking morning when I wake up. I think I do it to keep myself in check. I gained a few pounds during the holidays, but am back exercising now. I started going back to support group meetings. They aren't my favorite thing, but when I leave I feel a world better and just feel encouraged to stay on track.
I still love to bake. I don't think I will ever get past that. And Santa brought me a kitchenaid for Christmas, so I REALLY love to bake now. I continue to follow my rule that the goodies have to be gone within 24 hours. So, I give them away to friends.
Some things I wish I knew before gastric bypass:

1. Your stomach will make all sorts of God awful noises. not cute like "oh tee hee I must be hungry" noises. No...like the scene from Dumb and Dumber where the guy gave the other guy laxatives. ech. I hate that! And it will happen at the most quiet times of your life..church, the doctors office, funerals.
2. Most people don't have dumping syndrome. ie: you will probably be able to eat sugar. as a matter of fact, sugar will slide right through you like dust at a saw mill.
3. Counting calories, protein, carbs, or any other thing in food can actually have a bad outcome. I became obsessed with this for a while after surgery and developed an eating disorder.
4. No matter how much your body doesn't want you to overeat, your mind will still want that food. Surgery does nothing for your thought process about food. (unless you have a lobotomy at the same time) Meaning: if you have any emotional attachment with food...go see a therapist. Like yesterday. If you don't, you will just end up in the same eating patterns. Your stomach eventually stretches out and you can eat regular foods and bigger portions.

Every day is a learning experience for me during this journey. Everyone who goes through this has different experiences. It's about finding what works for you and managing your health. And one of the best feelings in the world is being able to sit on my husbands lap every night and not squish him or have him gasp for air.